Bad Mom!


So, this past Saturday was my children’s piano recital. They have been studying for a about a year and a half with their teacher (who comes to my house, no less!) and it was their first recital. We found our way to the church, maneuvered ourselves through the labyrinth that is the church’s bowels to the recital room which proved to be an impressive choral space complete with practice rooms. The rabbit warren that was the music space had light and energy and even a place for Mary and Ben to go play. Lucy had gone to warm up as she was first on the program, and I spent my time chatting with her teacher and trying to control Mary (no easy feat, that – the chairs were all lined up perfectly for her to run across and jump down on the other side).


When Lucy came back into the room, she stood in front of me and I looked up at her only to see a very well-known “Celebrity Chef” just over her left shoulder. The expression on Lucy’s face was one of, “I swear if you do or say anything to embarrass me or yourself I will NEVER speak to you again!” And boy, did she mean it. I looked from her, to him, and back to her and brought myself back under control. Like any good fangirl of food I allowed myself the internal freak out and immediately searched the program for his daughter’s name. Sure enough, there it was towards the end of the program. So anyway, the recital went off without a hitch and allof the kids played exceptionally well. (Truly, as a musician in my ‘former life’ – that is, my life before seven children – every kid did great and I was totally impressed. I have been to many bad recitals, let me tell you.) I managed to keep myself in check throughout and after, and did not bombard the poor man with useless information like how I’d just watched him make popovers, and how funny I think his show is. Nor did I giggle incessantly or otherwise embarrass my fragile teenager. All fellow foodies be proud! I was very good and represented us well.


I did however, just as soon as possible mind you because I was driving, get on my phone and Google him, settling on the Wikipedia article that someone was so thoughtful to write. I stumbled onto the secret of his weight loss. I know I should have known about this earlier, but in my defense, I don’t watch very much late night television, and Food Network only recently moved his Good Eats show to the lunchtime lineup which is my only window of opportunity. I was glad to know his weight loss was self-induced and not the result of something more sinister as I had actually considered. He documented his approach to healthier eating through the implementation of four lists.


List ONE 


List TWO 

3-4 days


One day only


NEVER (if possible)

Fruits Oily fish Red meat Fast food
Whole grains Yogurt Pasta Soda
Leafy greens Broccoli Dessert Processed meals
Nuts Sweet potato Alcohol Canned soups
Carrots Avocado
Green tea


I then went to You Tube to watch the video link for that particular episode (and here) so that I could hear his explanations on the subject. He made me laugh as usual, and I considered how well all of this fit into my plan to get my kids (and my swimmers) to eat healthier. Now, I’ll be honest … I am not ever (EVER – are you reading this Mr. Brown? I apologize for the vehemence in my shouty capitals, please know that I think you are awesome sauce) going to eat sardines from a can, chopsticks or not.


I have one memory of this type of ‘canned’ fish being eaten, although it was herring from a jar, from when I was nineteen and happened to be in Finland. We were out on a boat and it was lunchtime. The catered lunch was beautiful and very typical of what Europeans eat. Right down to the glass mason jar of preserved herring which I watched being consumed by a nice German man as he held the gelatinous fish aloft, eating it from the bottom up as the olive oil dripped down his mouth. Yeah, not pretty. Reminded me a little of Dan Akroyd eating the salmon through the Santa beard in Trading Places … but I digress.


So, with that being said (soapbox and all), I will do some research on the “oily fish” component of the list and see what other options I can come up with and get back with you all on my findings. In the meantime, I am also going to research the four lists by asking about chicken, eggs, pork and other options that we as carnivores have to us and where do they fit into these lists. After all, the best way to eat healthy is to eat a good variety of food.


Just don’t eat too much of it.

(Oh, and the Bad Mom! title? I was so excited to see him, I forgot to give the girls their flowers. The beautiful hydrangeas I’d gotten them  sat in my car until yesterday dying a slow, slow, asphyxiating death. Yeah … that’s me!)


About krob3

Wife, mom, swim taxi, singer, writer. This is what I do.
This entry was posted in Beer, Food, House and Home, Parenting, Teenagers, Uncategorized, Wine and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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