A pressure cooker. This is how our family dentist explained my 9-year-old daughter’s abscessed tooth yesterday. But today I feel like it’s an adequate metaphor for our life. But not just our life, everyone’s life around us. It seems like we’re all in the middle of or just getting over some sort of crisis. I don’t know if I think this is good or bad. I really think it is what it is. But is this how it use to be?
I grew up in a small town in Texas. Now there didn’t seem to be much drama happening there. Of course there was the occasional scandal but nothing like life in the “big city”. I would, at the age of 15, go to the bookstore and buy The Village Voice. I wanted to read about the obscure and strange goings on in New York City. I must have been drama starved. Now I dream of moving to the country. But then I think would that control the drama? Where is all this drama coming from?
Winston-Salem, North Carolina, our current address of three years, is not a big city. It’s a quaint college town with rolling hills and an awesome farmers market. I still feel the drama here. So let’s say I move to Fancy Gap, North Carolina, is there drama there? You bet there is because people make drama! It’s inescapable.
I also think the more people you have living in your home, the more personalities to deal with or cause conflict. So what’s the solution. The other day I came up with this idea that anytime anyone got in an argument/heated discussion we would have to use American Sign Language to work it out. For some reason that just seemed more peaceful and deliberate than shaking the windows with raised voices. I think everyone needs their space and in a large family that’s at a premium. But even if I put everyone in their own room chilling out in their way– would it reduce the drama? I don’t think so. I think we have to learn how to act or react peacefully. To find the strength within ourselves not to overreact.
I am the world’s worse at overreacting. I usually am coming up with my rebuttal long before the other person is done finishing their point. Many times with the kids I feel I’m just too busy to listen to all they have to say “give me the SparkNotes version please”. I see that the drama begins with ME! I set the tone for our family and our lives. But how, how am I going to change?
I am constantly trying new things with myself and my family. I like to experiment/tweak the family unit in a sense to see if it makes things better or worse. I want to enact a new Tiner Family Law. ~If you are feeling overwhelmed or particularly dramatic at the moment please take a deep breath and tell a joke.~ Now I know this will take some dedication on my part. I really don’t know any jokes, but I’m willing to learn. I found this one on www.101funjokes.com I know it’s not appropriate for young children but it made me laugh. I’ll use it with an adult. And…I’ll let you know if the new law works as well.
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, “Dad, what is the
difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically’?”
The father thought for a moment, then answered, “Go ask your mother
if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask
your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars,
and then, ask your brother if he’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.”
So the boy went to his mother and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?”
The mother replied, “Of course, I would! We could really use that
money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!”
The boy then went to his sister and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?”
The girl replied, “Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would
sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?”
The boy then went to his brother and asked, “Would you sleep with
Brad Pitt for a million dollars?”
“Of course,” the brother replied. “Do you know how much a million
bucks would buy?”
The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, “Did you find out the difference between
‘potentially’ and ‘realistically’?”
The boy replied, “Yes, ‘Potentially’, you and I are sitting on three
million dollars, but ‘realistically’, we’re living with two hookers
and a future congressman.”